The Hand Holding Harry
by Miss-Robin
Summary: Snape and Harry harbor secret feelings, and the war is pulling them further and further apart.Harry takes a trip into Snape's memories from Dumbledor's pensive. ON HIATUS. Going to be re-done.
1. 1: Why do I love you?

Disclaimer: I, in no way, claim to own Harry Potter or any of J.K. Rowling's amazing characters. Though I wouldn't be complaining if I did….

Author's note: I'm writing this entire story during my BCIS class from a school computer. Seriously.

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He watched the boy out of the corner of his eye, he always watched him. He hated him, he told himself that over and over. He had his fathers face.

But he had his mother's eyes.

Severus Snape shook his head, trying to block out those unwanted thoughts; thoughts of that damned James Potter, thoughts of that perfect Lily Evans, thoughts of their only son… Harry.

Said Gryffindor golden boy sat across the room, absent mindedly stirring his cauldron, watching the man.

The potions master returned his gaze once again, scowling.

He continued to stare, taking in his cruel expression, his harsh features, his long greasy black hair, and felt his heartbeat quicken.

He turned his gaze to the floor.

Why did he always react this way around that slimy snake of a man?

"Mr. Potter, I see you have managed to mess up on this potion for the second time, ten points from Gryffindor for…. Stupidity."

Snape's smirk made Harry's face flush with anger, he stood up, ready for another argument, when Hermione put her hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"That's right Harry, listen to your girlfriend."

It was Ron's turn to stand up, Hermione turned to glare at him, causing the redhead to sit back down.

Snape's smirk widened as he made his way back to the front of the classroom.

Why do I love him?


	2. 2: Betrayal?

Disclaimer: What are you crazy?! If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be in BCIS, sitting on my ass, writing fanfiction, I'd be out working on the film adaptation of my latest book : Harry Potter and the Order of Buttsex!

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He watched the boy arrive, holding Albus Dumbledore, holding the greatest wizard of their time like a sick child.

He really was amazing.

He saw the look of relief wash over his face as he finally arrived on the castle grounds; they were safe.

His gaze then turned to the Headmaster, weak and dying, and he realized that he could probably cure him, but he would die eventually anyways, the ring had seen to that.

He didn't want to kill him.

This man had done so much for him, taken him in, helped him, even after he had the dark lord's mark branded onto his skin.

This man meant so much to Harry.

He shook these thoughts out of his head, recalling the promise he made; he had to do it.

He watches Harry dawn the invisibility cloak, he watches Draco raise his wand at the man, scared.

He could never do it; Draco would never have it in him.

Sounds come from downstairs, the battle has started. The sounds of running feet and curses being shouted from Order member and Death Eater alike fill the great halls, and suddenly Draco is not alone.

Still he cannot do it.

Snape sighs, this was it, this is when he would kill the man that saved him.

This is when the boy he had grown to love, Harry Potter, would hate him more than anything in the world.

He stepped out of the shadows, knowing Harry was watching, as Dumbledore made one last plea.

"Avada Kedavra!"

The spell broke.

Harry was free.

He watched tears spill down his cheeks, and a look of pure hatred manifest itself on that beautiful face.

The hatred was for him.

In that moment he knew that Harry hated him, more than anyone else in the entire world, even more than he hated the Dark Lord, who had killed his own parents.

That look made his heart ache, almost as much as the news of Lilly's death had hurt.

Harry watched the man that had killed his mentor with no remorse, nothing.

How could he have loved him?

He would kill him.


	3. A doe Patronus

Disclaimer: In the book Harry, Draco and Snape are STRAIGHT. 'Nuff said.

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Severus Snape sat waiting, hidden amongst the trees that surrounded the clearing in the forest.

He sat, clutching the sword of Godric Gryffindor tightly.

It felt comfortable in the Slytherin's tight grasp; unnerving the man.

'_Sometimes I think we sort too soon'_

He laughed suddenly, thinking how easy it would have been for him if he had been sorted into that house, with Lily and all her friends.

Maybe things would have been different for them, or maybe it would be him, not James, lying in that grave next to her.

It was a slightly comforting thought.

Then he remembered Harry, the boy he loved, the future savior of the wizarding world.

He felt suddenly grateful for his life; a thing he hadn't felt for a long, long time.

Harry would save them all.

It was time.

He lowered the sword into the water, and his breath hitched at the contact, taking in strong magic.

The sword fell to the bottom of the pool and shimmered from the light above.

"Expecto Patronum"

A silver light emerged from the tip of his wand forming the shape of a doe.

It had been so long since he formed a patronus, the sight made his heart ache slightly.

He had loved her so much.

He went back to hide in the trees then, this time much farther, sending his doe to find the boy, to lead him to the sword.

He waited, and finally Harry appeared, eyes wide and searching the area for the caster of the patronus.

He spotted the pool, and the sword, and just stared at it for a moment, preparing himself for the ice cold water.

He took a deep breath and leapt in, gasping from the shock of the freezing temperature of the pool, before ducking his head under, trying to reach it.

Severus watched, waiting for Harry's head to resurface, waiting for him to rise out triumphantly with the sword in hand.

Harry didn't come up.

Arms suddenly appeared, splashing violently in the water; he was drowning.

Severus's heartbeat quickened ten-fold, his mind racing.

He had gone through so much effort keeping his love for the boy secret, making sure everyone believed him loyal to the Dark Lord.

It didn't matter, he couldn't stand another person he loved dying.

He stood up suddenly, pulling off his cloak, ready to run to the clearing and save Harry, but was stopped by a flashing blur of red.

Ronald Weasly, Harry's stupid best friend, was running to the rescue.

He watched the boy leap in and drag out Harry and the sword as well.

He watched the look of relief and adoration wash over the boy's face and felt a sharp tinge of jealousy.

Harry would never look at him like that.

Said boy's mind was racing.

Who had helped him?

Who had sent the beautiful patronus, whose soft silver glow filled his heart with a comfortable heat, and made him feel at home?

For only a brief second, his potion's master, Severus Snape's, face came into mind.

He shook the thought out of his head and smiled up at his best friend.


End file.
